Secret Ways To Make Your Relationship Shine Like A Diamond
Are you been in a relationship that just doesn’t feel like it used to? Maybe you’re living together and nothing feels “exciting” anymore. Perhaps you’ve been married a long time and you’re looking for ways to calm and restore your relationship.
Do you ever feel like:
*My relationship is boring
*I don’t really know my partner anymore*We never have anything to talk about
*My needs aren’t being met
DatingIn the book “Date Your Wife” Justin Buzzard describes the problem with relationships falling apart having to do with our expectations of meeting, wooing, dating, and marrying our perfect partner not matching up to the rest of lives, which are full of busyness, financial stress, and family obligations. A good relationship should feel more like progressive actions toward a common goal, with both partners working daily to sustain the relationship and keep it exciting.
To stop the crazy cycle of repeatedly getting run down and trying to fix it, Buzzard suggests you start dating all over again, immediately. Then make plans to date your partner for the rest of your lives.
Dates don’t have to be elaborate or expensive. Some ideas for frequent dates are:
*Meet for lunch in the middle of the week
*See a movie
*Check out the travel section at the bookstore
*Do something touristy in your hometown
*Attend a sporting event
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Try out a date idea tonight. Call your partner and say, “Clear your schedule tonight, I’m taking you out.” Then take care of all of the details, including a sitter if you have kids.
CommunicationEffective communication is the key to a satisfying relationship. Do you often find yourself thinking:
*He/She never listens to me
*I don’t feel important
*I can’t talk to my partner without arguing
Couples need to recognize the bad communication habits they have formed in the length of their relationship. When poor communication is prevalent, you may experience unnecessary frustration, mistrust, defensiveness, and tension.
To open the lines of communication, try this exercise. After an argument, take a few minutes to calm down and think about the communication problems you just experienced. Chances are, the tension, defensiveness, and frustration do not stem from the topic of the argument, but the problems you had communicating your side.
Ask yourself:
*Did I raise my voice?
*Did I go off topic?*Was I thinking of what I was going to say next instead of listening to my partner?
*Was there ever an opportunity for resolution that I missed because I got sucked into the act of arguing?
Come back together with your partner and take ownership for the communication problems. Together, set some ground rules for discussing hot topics to avoid the common problems listed above. Stop and think how you might handle the subject or confrontation if you were discussing it with your boss. Give your partner as much or more respect as you give to your boss.
SpaceThe famous poet Kahlil Gibran shared these words in his work, “On Marriage”:
“And stand together, yet not too near together, for the pillars of the temple stand apart, and the oak tree and the cypress grow not in each other’s shadow.”
When the pillars stand together, they do not make a stable foundation. You must be evenly spread apart. You must leave room to grow individually. Let her have girls night. Let him have guys night. Let her watch movies you don’t like, and let him play video games. Space in a relationship is refreshing!
Through dedication to setting aside quality time for dates, opening the lines of communication, and allowing yourselves space in the relationship, you can and will sparkle again.
