Why You Should Marry Yourself Before You Marry Anyone Else
Discussion of “self-marriage” brings to mind sad singles who have given up on love, or greedy, materialistic people who don’t want to get married, but want all the perks of a great wedding, like a big party and gifts. The burgeoning self-marriage movement isn’t about loneliness or materialism. It is a positive ritual meant to honor one’s self before trying to merge a life with someone else’s.
Self-marriage isn’t new — in some cultures, it has been around for centuries, and has a name: Sologamy. In a religious context, it is the marriage of the body and spirit, creating one being. The modern ceremony is meant more as a dedication to positive self-affirmation.
There are many reasons why this trend has become more popular:
- Celebrating the “unique self.”— Many people complain that they lose themselves in their spouse’s needs when they marry. Solidifying what they need and learning to hold onto that can make a more solid and satisfying marriage.
- Depending on yourself and developing independence. — Being one’s own best friend, knowing that one can not only survive, but thrive without another person to make them complete. This relieves the pressure to take on anyone as a partner just to fill a void or assuage loneliness, rather than taking time to find the right one.
- Self-acceptance— Often people have not come to love, accept, or understand themselves, and when they enter into a marriage, they expect the spouse to do exactly those things. A clash will happen when the spouse inevitably disappoints.
- Discovering and acknowledging all of the positive aspects of oneself— When someone explicitly gets in touch with the wonderful aspects of their being, and vows to stay true to them, it is easier to share those with another person. This allows them to enjoy all of those amazing parts of their spouse too.
- A piece of symbolic jewelry as a reminder— This doesn’t just remind someone of their ceremony, but of their dedication to themselves, and all the things they learned when they took their vows.
