Are You Destroying Your Relationship Without Knowing It?
Have you suffered continual failure in relationships? Maybe it’s time to explore yourself and your behavior. Sometimes we are our own biggest enemy, ruining relationships. After one relationship ends we do the same things in our new relationship. Do you know why? Because most of the mistakes that destroy our relationships are done unknowingly.
Here is a list of what you might be doing that is easy to change:
• MindreadingWe often expect a lot from our partners without expressing what exactly we want. This usually occurs because we think our partner should know what we want without being told. This toxic behavior pattern can ruin a relationship.
• The blame gameIf you have been unfairly blaming your partner while ignoring his/her more positive traits, stop doing it or you will ruin your relationship. Saying things like, “This is all your fault!” “You should have done a or b not c,” is non-productive, hurtful, and damaging.
• Becoming unattractiveThere is no doubt that beauty lies in the eyes of the beholder, but to some extent how you appear matters. Caring about your appearance lets them know they are special and deserve you at your best. Quite often opposites attract, sometimes we like people similar to us, keep in mind what they first found attractive about you, the colors they like, and other things that help you stay attractive. If your sense of humor attracted them make sure you get chances to laugh together.
• Constant competition with your partnerA successful relationship can develop when you support your partner instead of always competing. Competition implies you are opposing forces of your partner and don’t consider yourselves a team. A little can be healthy and fun, but competing about everything, including who is in charge and makes the rules, will induce jealousy and arrogance in your relationship which can ruin it.
• Being dependent on your partner for your happinessIf you are dependent on your partner for your happiness or wait for them to make you happy, you are making a big mistake. If you are not happy within yourself then you can’t be happy in a relationship for long. Be happy in your partner’s happiness, don’t rely on him for yours. You will be disappointed when he/she can’t always make you happy.
• Spending out of your meansIt’s good marriage advice to make a budget and stick to it. Constant complaints about not having all the luxuries and lavish lifestyle you want are going to hurt your hardworking and faithful partner’s sentiments. Big ticket items should be discussed and agreed on, and you should each have an agreed upon amount of fun money to spend as you please. Running up a lot of credit card debt is stressful on any relationship.
• Dull love- lifeMost of us crave physical interaction, when you repeatedly decline physical contact it negatively affects your relationship. Don’t use love-making as a tool to control your spouse. Make time for romance and love-making, and it does not always require physical concact. Consider giving each other massages, foot rubs, cuddling near a fire, or whatever works for you.
• Doubting your partnerStop speculating about your partner. If they have been busy lately it does not mean they are having an affair. Support your spouse, full faith or no faith. Doubts can put your relationship on the verge of divorce, probably not what you want. Work together and believe in each other.
